Happinessunhappy marriage | happy women

You’re stuck in an unhappy marriage. Now what?

Well, most people “get on with it.” You might stay in an unhappy marriage because you don’t want to upend your kids’ lives. You might stay for financial reasons – living life and paying rent on a single income is nearly impossible in many parts of the US. Or maybe you think you have no choice but to accept that you’re unhappy and nothing will. Ever. Change.

If you have resolved to just trudge through the muck of life, head down, happiness long ago abandoned – WAKE UP!

Is that really how you want to live your life? Hell to the no!

Here’s the deal.

I originally started The Shelter as a place for women having affairs to gather and support each other. But I decided to broaden my reach to support any woman who is stuck in an unhappy marriage for any reason. I want you to be happy. I don’t care if you stay in your marriage or not. I do care that you start living a life you love – the life you deserve.

What I did about my unhappy marriage

In 2011, my marriage was slowly crumbling. I felt invisible and taken for granted. I was angry and resentful. One day, all that pent up anger spilled over, and I went off the deep end.

I had a roughly three-month affair, followed by another, more devastating affair that lasted a little less than five months. I left my husband, ripped apart my family, blew up my life and hit rock bottom.

Hindsight is 20/20, so now I know that hitting rock bottom was a gift. Once your life is reduced to smoldering ruins, you can only do one thing: rebuild.

I rebuilt myself, and then I rebuilt my marriage and family.

My life is not perfect, but it’s 100% better than what it ever was – or was ever going to be. I am happy and healthy – physically and emotionally. I do fun things with my husband, my kids, my friends and by myself. I am doing work I love with people I love.

Why does my life feel like an exception?

Why is a happy life so elusive for so many people?

According the World Happiness Index, American rank 19 (out of 156 countries) in happiness. This index doesn’t break out happiness by gender, race or socioeconomic level, but I bet if it did, we’d see far lower rates of happiness for women overall.

I looked up the Well-Being Index and confirmed what I thought: women are increasingly unhappy. Between 1970 and 2005, women’s self-reported happiness score have declined considerably.

Shocking, said no woman alive right now.

I look around at my friends, and I see a lot of misery. It breaks my heart.

And that’s why I’m doing something about it. Sound intriguing? Tell your friends. Tell your family. And consider joining today.

Photo by Simon Maage on Unsplash

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